Friday 29 February 2008

kittin 1

announcer: kit-tinz, buy one today, it's a kitten in a tin, does exactly what it says on the tin, you sir, thank you sir, are you feeeeeeling lucky sir? look out! you've just won a kitten in a tin! kitten in a tin! it's a kitten in a tin! tastes great with tomato sauce...
dave: but i already have a kitten in a tin
announcer: you do?
dave: yes. his name is jeremy-jeremy hopalong, and i bought him for thruppence when such currency was still around
announcer: i believe that was sometime in the late 1700s
dave: so be it
announcer: well... your kitten in a tin could sure use a friend, another kitten in the tin, why not take this white kitten right here with BIG EYES
dave: but
announcer: now then mister, don't go all shy on me
dave: i
announcer: you'll never get anywhere with one-word sentences
dave: help me, mother
[there is thunder in the sky and a voice from the heavens rings out]
heavenly voice: i have my hand stuck in a fridge
[pause]
announcer: why not try kitten in a tin? perfect for all your hand-stuck-in-a-fridge needs...
dave: ALRIGHT! ALRIGHT! I'LL TAKE IT [looks away dramatically]
announcer: no need to shout, you'll terrify the poor kitten-in-a-tin
dave: WILL YOU PLEASE STOP SAYING "KITTEN-IN-A-TIN!"
announcer: oh
dave: that's better
announcer: well, i never knew it was like *that* [walks away in a huff]
kitten in a tin: *meow*
dave: aw, what a cute little kittin we have here. i shall call you dr moose, for you remind me somewhat of our old vet, why, he had whiskers just like you, the moon would glimmer off them on many a clear night... [drifts off into rambling story]
dr moose: *meow*

END

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