Friday, 29 February 2008

kittin 3

dave: oh, i've gone and angered jeremy-jeremy hopalong. if only mother were here!
[there is thunder in the sky and a voice from the heavens booms]
heavenly voice: go and apologise, and stop being so pathetic
dave: i'm not pathetic!
heavenly voice: yes you are, you're a complete pushover. and you wet your pants at night
dave: meeeeeaaaaaah
amos: pull yourself together dave, we're talking to god here
heavenly voice: i'm not god, i'm your mother
amos: but my mother doesn't sound like a man
heavenly voice: not *your* mother, his mother! [falsetto] anyway, i don't sound like a man
dave: you're not my mother
heavenly voice: alright! i'm just a heavenly voice in the sky! just trying to be helpful, you know...
dm: *meow*
jj: [from upstairs] somebody shut that bloody cat up
dave: listen jeremy, i'm sorry
[no answer]
dave: i should've asked you first
[no answer]
dave: i hope you'll still be able to be friends with dr moose
[no answer]
dave: if you come down here and talk to him i'll let you podge my belly
[jj appears from the door]
jj: alright. but remember who's the *original* kittin around here
dave: oh, jeremy!
amos: [holds back the tears, bless his little heart]
jj: [podges dave's belly] podge! podge podge podge! oh, i haven't had this much fun in years
dm: *meow*
jj: [smiles affectionately] you can podge his belly too, little fella. here [podges dave with dr moose's paw]
dm: *meow* [grins happily]
amos: looks like you've done alright there dave
jj: PODGE!
dave: ow! my hernia!


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